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Through the heart of course

Welcome to my Substack. I’m new here, and excited to build a space of genuine sharing. Let me introduce myself. I’m Khatija Dadabhoy. I’m something of an explorer and a romantic. I love to turn people on to themselves, to connect them back to their own hearts. I’ve been in the counseling profession in some capacity or another for 27 years. I work for myself, and over the years my work has evolved into the deeper soul work of healing and repairing core wounding while retrieving the lost parts of ourselves. I’m intimately acquainted with pain and trauma, as well as how to mine those experiences for the sweet gold, and I’ll be sharing some of those stories here.

Why Substack? I wondered about this a bit for various reasons. What could I do differently here than I’m able to in other online spaces? I shy from social media or go through phases with it, but do pop in and post every so often. I guess I mostly feel like I lose connection to my own voice there when I’m taking in so many others. I write a regular email newsletter to my list of subscribers, and that usually feels good for my desire to share. But it feels more like offering ways to work together and some helpful content for those on the path. Substack feels like a place to put my heart, a place from which I don’t always have the courage to share. Maybe more personal, maybe more vulnerable, maybe more creative.

I’ve claimed writer as a defining part of my being and expression, and this is a space I can do the often scary thing of sharing that expression. Of daring to be a writer. I don’t necessarily consider myself to be a great writer, per se. I really just have stuff to say and want to overcome the fear of saying it. This feels like a good place to do that. So far it’s feeling pretty good. As I set up my substack profile, I got that feeling I haven’t had in quite a while. That sort of excitement and expansion that makes me eager to dive in. Its how I know I’m on the right track.

Why Sweet Suffering? Well mostly because I’ve had a lot of time to really look back at my life recently. Mid life developmental stages will have you doing such things. As I’ve inventoried and sifted through the past, I always land squarely in the middle of sweetness and suffering. There has been A LOT of suffering. Maybe more than the average bear. And then there has been so much sweetness, sometimes in the very same life experience. So the sweetness and the suffering are inextricably linked, and honestly both are how we know we’re alive. How we feel our own aliveness, our own heart as we hurl it into contact with the world. Honoring our journey through suffering is required in order to get closer to the grace of the heart. I am all about how to get closer to our own hearts and how to live with an undefended one. So an exploration of how to do that through sweet suffering seemed perfect for me.

So here you’ll find stories, reflections and psychospiritual explorations. I am busy discovering me, so hopefully this space is for other such inner adventurers who would like to join me. I have learned through my life that there is a certain sweetness in the pains of life. I experience a curious sensation when I’ve moved through a particularly painful ordeal or episode in my life story. When it has mostly been transmuted and the suffering is less and less present, I miss it. No, not in that addicted to suffering kind of way (although that might be a thing for me too). It’s in the way you miss someone when you’ve really been intimate with them. Those times of suffering contain the sweetness of intimacy with myself. They force me to stay close to my own heart for long periods of time, and it is sweet and tender. This becomes embodied as a way of being, possibly without the necessity of heartbreak and pain, so here’s to praying I become more embodied. The other thing worth noting is our ability to go to the depths of our suffering speaks to our ability to be with the sweetness of life with equal depth.

There is much to encounter as we wander the many paths embedded within this topic. Who knows where it might take us. Let’s find out….

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A little footnote about who I am:

This part actually feels tougher than I imagined. I’ve been in a space where so many identities have been dismantling that its hard to find the words to describe myself. Things don’t seem to fit anymore. So rather than use identity descriptors, I will tell you about my life and my heart. I have two daughters who I am nearing the end of raising as children. One has already flown off on her own and is creating her own life. The other will be doing the same soon. I am not sure what my life will look like when that moment comes and it scares me a little. I love to work as a holder of space, a connector of dots, a follower of threads, a wayshower for hearts, a guide for soul development, and a massive advocate for feeling as a way to save the world. I work with people who want to work with themselves. I enter their worlds and inner spaces with reverence as I help them see and feel what is in need. I do this through many modalities and approaches which don’t matter as much as the heart and presence I can bring. But lately my focus has been on Somatic and Integrative Internal Family Systems (parts work) and energy/frequency modalities. I love to read, write, bake, cook, travel, enjoy the beach, and indulge in a good rom com. I’m a nerd for the intersection of quantum science, sprituality, emotion, and biology. I am an out of the box thinker who loves to question just about everything. I highly value freedom, emotional honesty, inquiry, the heart, responsibility, truth, and sovereignty. I live for the sun, and there’s nothing better than a walk or laying on the sand while the sun warms my skin. Looking forward to getting to know some new beings here.